Dead Snow (2009)

This low budget Norwegian zombie flick shouldn't really work, but it does. Filled with every single horror movie cliche and trope, it's one of those films that are ridiculous in a good way. The story revolve around a group of medical students on holiday in the remotest part of the Norwegian wilderness they could find.

The characters are the biggest cliche of all, from the deadlocked women who looks like a predator, the quintessential attractive blondes, to the fat film geek guy - who is the source of many a horror movie reference during the film.

After the unlikely group settle in, the not so unlikely drunken party starts, a party which is soon interrupted by a knock of the door of the cabin...The knock is the local weirdo with a scary tail to tell. The man proceeds to tell the group about the legend of a lost Nazi battalion whose evil presence remains on the mountain.

Well it doesn't take long before the man's fears are realized, and the group soon start dropping like flies, and it drops to a few remaining to survivors to face the ravenous army of Nazi zombies. The group of remaining characters, one resembling Ash from Evil Dead, with an amputated arm and chainsaw combo, dispense with the zombie horde in more and more over-the-top and super gory ways.

The special effects are pretty convincing for such a low budget indie film, and each zombie death is more original and mega gory  than the next. Dead Snow is good old-fashioned comedy horror fun. A little indie gem which is up there among the best comedy horrors that I've seen.

Dead Snow (2009)

This low budget Norwegian zombie flick shouldn't really work, but it does. Filled with every single horror movie cliche and trope, it's one of those films that are ridiculous in a good way. The story revolve around a group of medical students on holiday in the remotest part of the Norwegian wilderness they could find.

The characters are the biggest cliche of all, from the deadlocked women who looks like a predator, the quintessential attractive blondes, to the fat film geek guy - who is the source of many a horror movie reference during the film.

After the unlikely group settle in, the not so unlikely drunken party starts, a party which is soon interrupted by a knock of the door of the cabin...The knock is the local weirdo with a scary tail to tell. The man proceeds to tell the group about the legend of a lost Nazi battalion whose evil presence remains on the mountain.

Well it doesn't take long before the man's fears are realized, and the group soon start dropping like flies, and it drops to a few remaining to survivors to face the ravenous army of Nazi zombies. The group of remaining characters, one resembling Ash from Evil Dead, with an amputated arm and chainsaw combo, dispense with the zombie horde in more and more over-the-top and super gory ways.

The special effects are pretty convincing for such a low budget indie film, and each zombie death is more original and mega gory  than the next. Dead Snow is good old-fashioned comedy horror fun. A little indie gem which is up there among the best comedy horrors that I've seen.

Dead End (2003)

On Christmas Eve Frank Harrington (Ray Wise) is driving  his family to his in-laws for Christmas and decides to take a shortcut. Things soon start to go wrong, as the road they are on seems neverending and they are terrorised by the ghost of a young woman.


The film is described as a 'horror thriller' on its IMDb page, but to me it seemed more like a comedy, mainly due to the hilarious antics of Frank Harrington himself. With constant over-the-top reactions and wise cracks, Ray Wise is hilarious in this film. With his dum daughter, annoying son in-law and crazy wife nagging him all the way, he soon starts to crack up.


The family members soon start disapearing one by one, and the last you see of them are their faces stuck to the back window of a mysterious black hurse which drives past them in part of some morbid death ritual.


The film feels like a horror version of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. By the way they are set up, even the scares seem like they are meant to be funny rather than scary. Dead End isn't to be taken seriously as a horror, even if that was what the director intended.

Dead End (2003)

On Christmas Eve Frank Harrington (Ray Wise) is driving  his family to his in-laws for Christmas and decides to take a shortcut. Things soon start to go wrong, as the road they are on seems neverending and they are terrorised by the ghost of a young woman.


The film is described as a 'horror thriller' on its IMDb page, but to me it seemed more like a comedy, mainly due to the hilarious antics of Frank Harrington himself. With constant over-the-top reactions and wise cracks, Ray Wise is hilarious in this film. With his dum daughter, annoying son in-law and crazy wife nagging him all the way, he soon starts to crack up.


The family members soon start disapearing one by one, and the last you see of them are their faces stuck to the back window of a mysterious black hurse which drives past them in part of some morbid death ritual.


The film feels like a horror version of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. By the way they are set up, even the scares seem like they are meant to be funny rather than scary. Dead End isn't to be taken seriously as a horror, even if that was what the director intended.

Final Destination 5 (2013)

In my opinion the Final Destination franchise is the worst series of horror films released in the last 20 years, beating even the many crappy Saw sequels, and the fifth installment of this terrible franchise is the worst yet. Now, pretty much all aspects of this film are bad, but let start with the acting. The two main characters and best friends Peter 'eyebrows' Friedkin (Miles Fisher) and Sam Lawton (Nicholas D'Agosto), really do take the biscuit with some of the worst acting I've ever seen. Not only is their line delivery shocking, but Peter Freidkins eyebrow prevent the viewer from taking him seriously at all (you will understand when you see them.)

The inevitable far-fetched and ridiculous deaths start happening right from the start. When Sam and Miles embark on a work trip with their colleges. Whilst sat on a coach in a traffic jam, Sam has a premonition that the bridge they are on will soon collapse. .


Just as he starts warning the group of their imminent deaths, the bridge starts to crumble beneath them. Luckily enough, however, the main characters all survive, while a bunch of extras die when the bus plunges into the river below.  The rest of the film plays out the same as previous four installments - with death hunting down the annoying characters and eventually catching up with them in increasingly ridiculous ways.

The paycheck wasn't bad, so I don't give a fuck!

There's practically no plot. Just a showcase of stupidity and bad acting in-between the death scenes. I actually enjoyed the death scenes, not for the special effects or gore, but because one of the annoying characters had been killed. The final scene in the kitchen is a showcase of all the things that make this film terrible: the terrible acting, ridiculous script, and predictable deaths. The only highlights:  the crappy actors eventually die, and Tony 'Candyman' Todd's cameo.

I really hope they don't make any more of these films. I wouldn't even categorize this crap as cinema. Stay well clear of this, or you'll regret it.

Final Destination 5 (2013)

In my opinion the Final Destination franchise is the worst series of horror films released in the last 20 years, beating even the many crappy Saw sequels, and the fifth installment of this terrible franchise is the worst yet. Now, pretty much all aspects of this film are bad, but let start with the acting. The two main characters and best friends Peter 'eyebrows' Friedkin (Miles Fisher) and Sam Lawton (Nicholas D'Agosto), really do take the biscuit with some of the worst acting I've ever seen. Not only is their line delivery shocking, but Peter Freidkins eyebrow prevent the viewer from taking him seriously at all (you will understand when you see them.)

The inevitable far-fetched and ridiculous deaths start happening right from the start. When Sam and Miles embark on a work trip with their colleges. Whilst sat on a coach in a traffic jam, Sam has a premonition that the bridge they are on will soon collapse. .


Just as he starts warning the group of their imminent deaths, the bridge starts to crumble beneath them. Luckily enough, however, the main characters all survive, while a bunch of extras die when the bus plunges into the river below.  The rest of the film plays out the same as previous four installments - with death hunting down the annoying characters and eventually catching up with them in increasingly ridiculous ways.

The paycheck wasn't bad, so I don't give a fuck!

There's practically no plot. Just a showcase of stupidity and bad acting in-between the death scenes. I actually enjoyed the death scenes, not for the special effects or gore, but because one of the annoying characters had been killed. The final scene in the kitchen is a showcase of all the things that make this film terrible: the terrible acting, ridiculous script, and predictable deaths. The only highlights:  the crappy actors eventually die, and Tony 'Candyman' Todd's cameo.

I really hope they don't make any more of these films. I wouldn't even categorize this crap as cinema. Stay well clear of this, or you'll regret it.

The Sacrament (2014)

The Sacrament is the third feature from Ti West, and is basically his take on the Jonestown massacre. The film follows two journalists shooting a documentary about a man's attempt to locate his missing sister. They  find her in a rural cult preparing for a mass suicide.

The two journalists are airlifted to a remote area in the forest and then driven by truck to the cult's camp. When reach the gate, they are greeted by three angry African men armed with machine guns (which doesn't put them off entering the camp). They are greeting by the man's missing sister, who is happy, a little too happy...to see them.

Soon after their arrival the journalists are invited to a town meeting by the leader of the camp, a man the cult members call "father". At the camp meeting the journalists interview the charismatic cult leader, where he tell them about his belief in the rejection of western values, capitalism and modern technology, and warns the journalists not to give the group a bad write-up in the paper or divulge any info on the camps location. Much like all cult leaders, "father" makes out that the camp is a utopia of sorts where the people are truly free. It turns out, however, that all is not well in utopia. 

The one thing that irritated me was the stupidity of the journalists: even after his friend is abducted and killed by the cult leader, one of them remains - trying to find the groups photographer and the man's missing sister. A one point he tries to escape on a chopper, only to be fired upon by the armed guards. So where does he flee to..? the woods, to a find a road maybe, the sky, anywhere but back to the dam camp! But that's where he goes. 

The acting is pretty good and film was pretty well paced. As powerful as the subject matter is, the found-footage style added to the authenticity. However, the film loose its way and becomes a little predictable towards the end. After the cult members drink their the magic orange juice, it's just a loan survivor left roaming around aimlessly - hunted by the guards for twenty minutes before getting on the chopper.

The characters may have been infuriating at times and the ending all too predictable, but the The Sacrament is a well-made and disturbing edition the Ti West filmography.

The Sacrament (2014)

The Sacrament is the third feature from Ti West, and is basically his take on the Jonestown massacre. The film follows two journalists shooting a documentary about a man's attempt to locate his missing sister. They  find her in a rural cult preparing for a mass suicide.

The two journalists are airlifted to a remote area in the forest and then driven by truck to the cult's camp. When reach the gate, they are greeted by three angry African men armed with machine guns (which doesn't put them off entering the camp). They are greeting by the man's missing sister, who is happy, a little too happy...to see them.

Soon after their arrival the journalists are invited to a town meeting by the leader of the camp, a man the cult members call "father". At the camp meeting the journalists interview the charismatic cult leader, where he tell them about his belief in the rejection of western values, capitalism and modern technology, and warns the journalists not to give the group a bad write-up in the paper or divulge any info on the camps location. Much like all cult leaders, "father" makes out that the camp is a utopia of sorts where the people are truly free. It turns out, however, that all is not well in utopia. 

The one thing that irritated me was the stupidity of the journalists: even after his friend is abducted and killed by the cult leader, one of them remains - trying to find the groups photographer and the man's missing sister. A one point he tries to escape on a chopper, only to be fired upon by the armed guards. So where does he flee to..? the woods, to a find a road maybe, the sky, anywhere but back to the dam camp! But that's where he goes. 

The acting is pretty good and film was pretty well paced. As powerful as the subject matter is, the found-footage style added to the authenticity. However, the film loose its way and becomes a little predictable towards the end. After the cult members drink their the magic orange juice, it's just a loan survivor left roaming around aimlessly - hunted by the guards for twenty minutes before getting on the chopper.

The characters may have been infuriating at times and the ending all too predictable, but the The Sacrament is a well-made and disturbing edition the Ti West filmography.

Wolf Creek 2 (2014)

We head back into the outback with serial killer madman Mick Taylor. After the first installment, Mick has moved south towards a more populated area in which to find his victims. The dark, unsettling atmosphere of the original film isn't really present here and there is very little build up before the killing begins.

The first death of the film is ridiculously over the top and very unlikely. I don't to give too much away, but it involves a rifle shot that any army sniper would struggle to make. Mick inevitably has a run-in with some tourists again - German tourists this time. I almost felt glad the tourists were killed, they were truly stupid. They got a lift out into the he middle of nowhere with few supplies and then start shouting at each other and asking how they were going to get back...eventually Mick turns up and offers the couple a lift back into town, needless to say, they don't make it.

In a way the film reminded me of I Spit On Your Grave 2 - basically the same film set somewhere else. Fare enough, the killings are gory and the killer is his usual charismatic, funny self, but there's nothing original in the film; if it weren't for the 2 in the title, there wouldn't be any difference in the story compared with the first film. The film has with the same basic elements - two stupid tourists, a dungeon, and a madman. The ending is exactly the same as well.

The only difference in this film is that Mick begins stalking an Englishmen who witnessed the killing of the tourists, he toys with him (Hitcher style) in a game of cat and mouse.

*SPOILER ALERT* The films ends the same as the first, with a single survivor escaping. At the end of the film a caption come on saying the police didn't believe is story of a madman roaming the outback killing tourists, and they suspect he killed the tourists himself. The final scene shows Mick Taylor walking away in the dessert with his rifle over his shoulder.

Like many horror sequels of the last ten years, Wolf Creek 2 failed to live up to its predecessor's success. It's not a terrible film by any means, and is a refreshing change from all the found-footage films that are saturating the genre.

Wolf Creek 2 (2014)

We head back into the outback with serial killer madman Mick Taylor. After the first installment, Mick has moved south towards a more populated area in which to find his victims. The dark, unsettling atmosphere of the original film isn't really present here and there is very little build up before the killing begins.

The first death of the film is ridiculously over the top and very unlikely. I don't to give too much away, but it involves a rifle shot that any army sniper would struggle to make. Mick inevitably has a run-in with some tourists again - German tourists this time. I almost felt glad the tourists were killed, they were truly stupid. They got a lift out into the he middle of nowhere with few supplies and then start shouting at each other and asking how they were going to get back...eventually Mick turns up and offers the couple a lift back into town, needless to say, they don't make it.

In a way the film reminded me of I Spit On Your Grave 2 - basically the same film set somewhere else. Fare enough, the killings are gory and the killer is his usual charismatic, funny self, but there's nothing original in the film; if it weren't for the 2 in the title, there wouldn't be any difference in the story compared with the first film. The film has with the same basic elements - two stupid tourists, a dungeon, and a madman. The ending is exactly the same as well.

The only difference in this film is that Mick begins stalking an Englishmen who witnessed the killing of the tourists, he toys with him (Hitcher style) in a game of cat and mouse.

*SPOILER ALERT* The films ends the same as the first, with a single survivor escaping. At the end of the film a caption come on saying the police didn't believe is story of a madman roaming the outback killing tourists, and they suspect he killed the tourists himself. The final scene shows Mick Taylor walking away in the dessert with his rifle over his shoulder.

Like many horror sequels of the last ten years, Wolf Creek 2 failed to live up to its predecessor's success. It's not a terrible film by any means, and is a refreshing change from all the found-footage films that are saturating the genre.

Snowpiercer (2014)

Snowpiercer is a cross between Elysium and The Raid on a train, and is basically an allegorical reflection of modern society. Everything takes place on a huge train that circles a frozen wasteland earth. Years earlier scientists released a chemical into the atmosphere in an attempt to stop global warming and inadvertently started a new ice-age. Seeing the impending doom of mankind, a genius called Wilford (Ed Harris) designed the huge train, which uses the earths magnetic field for propulsion..

The train has a class system, with the lowest toward the back of the train and highest toward the front. The people in the tail section live in squaller, packed together on cramped, filthy shelves, with the only food available being black blocks of jelly called "protein blocks". Curtis (Chris Evans) is one of peasants from the tail section - sick of the living conditions, constant killings and lack of food, Curtis plans a uprising.

The population of the train is kept under control by periodical sacrifices in honor of the demigod "Wilford". The sacrifices always come from the tail section of course, and the people are often told to be grateful by their rich, well fed oppressors. The revolutionaries are shocked to discover the way that people live towards the front of the train - with a constant supply of meat, fresh fish, vegetables and eggs. They also discover, to their horror, what those "protein bars" are made of.

On there their way through the train, Curtis, and his friends encounter a carriage full of henchmen armed with machetes and axes - this is a brilliant fight scene. With around 100 men cutting each other to ribbons in a tight train carriage with blood spraying on the windows and some nice slow motion edits.

I'm kind of surprised the film has not been criticized the way Elysium was, because it's subtle critique of society is almost identical. Anyway, Snowpiercer is a descent Sci-Fi drama, with great editing throughout, and some solid performances from the main characters.

Snowpiercer (2014)

Snowpiercer is a cross between Elysium and The Raid on a train, and is basically an allegorical reflection of modern society. Everything takes place on a huge train that circles a frozen wasteland earth. Years earlier scientists released a chemical into the atmosphere in an attempt to stop global warming and inadvertently started a new ice-age. Seeing the impending doom of mankind, a genius called Wilford (Ed Harris) designed the huge train, which uses the earths magnetic field for propulsion..

The train has a class system, with the lowest toward the back of the train and highest toward the front. The people in the tail section live in squaller, packed together on cramped, filthy shelves, with the only food available being black blocks of jelly called "protein blocks". Curtis (Chris Evans) is one of peasants from the tail section - sick of the living conditions, constant killings and lack of food, Curtis plans a uprising.

The population of the train is kept under control by periodical sacrifices in honor of the demigod "Wilford". The sacrifices always come from the tail section of course, and the people are often told to be grateful by their rich, well fed oppressors. The revolutionaries are shocked to discover the way that people live towards the front of the train - with a constant supply of meat, fresh fish, vegetables and eggs. They also discover, to their horror, what those "protein bars" are made of.

On there their way through the train, Curtis, and his friends encounter a carriage full of henchmen armed with machetes and axes - this is a brilliant fight scene. With around 100 men cutting each other to ribbons in a tight train carriage with blood spraying on the windows and some nice slow motion edits.

I'm kind of surprised the film has not been criticized the way Elysium was, because it's subtle critique of society is almost identical. Anyway, Snowpiercer is a descent Sci-Fi drama, with great editing throughout, and some solid performances from the main characters.

Open Grave (2014)

Open Grave starts confusingly and pretty much maintains the confusion throughout. This mystery/survival flick, kicks off with a man waking up in an pit full of dead bodies in the middle on nowhere. He soon finds his way into a nearby house, where he meets a group who say they have just woken as well.

The next hour basically consists of the group aimlessly roaming around trying to figure out what has happened. The story unfolds arduously slow, as the members of the group claim to recognize each other and suffer strange flashbacks, they also begin to display symptoms of some kind of psychosis, and start turning on one another.

The story is predictable as hell, a textbook shock-reveal story, which is as poorly executed as it is boring to watch. After an hour of pointless flashbacks and screaming at each other, the group finally discovers the truth.

I don't want to give too much away, but the plot twist basically involves a deadly virus and a military conspiracy. The acting was a bit ropey at times, the only exception being  Sharlto Copley's performance. The last fifteen minutes are the best of the film, as everything starts to fall apart, and Copleys character fights for survival.

Open Grave could have been so much better if it had a bigger budget and a better script, its a classic case of a good idea, poorly executed.